I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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