Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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