So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
