she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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