In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
