im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
