My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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