In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
