Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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