Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
