he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
