come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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