she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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