He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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