Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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