girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
