I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
