He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
honey bunches of taint.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
porn star boner night. come get it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
