You're so nebulous sometimes
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
