I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
