i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
