I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
