I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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