This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
