i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
