Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
