how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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