ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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