is your mom at the bar?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
