please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
