my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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