Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Someone shit on the floor
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
