Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
