haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
