dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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