I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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