Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think my moral compass just broke
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
