Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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