Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
