I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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