Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
