the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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