How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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