Its about making memories worth repressing
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
