Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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