I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
