Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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