Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
