the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
