There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
